Learning to say no

Learning to say no is one of the hardest things I've had to do. I'm a person who likes to help others. I'm also the one others call when they need something.

Juggling a full-time job and writing approximately the same number of hours daily demands a lot of my time, and the further I've gotten with my writing, the more time seems to be required for it. So not just deadlines steer how I divide my time, but also the need to write. Like training, it's what makes my brain balanced, and it's often how I recharge my batteries. If I don't write, my head can't function.

The cost writing had on my time became an issue as I realized I didn't have enough hours in the day to work, write and help the people around me at the same level as I had before. For example, thanks to a deadline, I couldn't spend an entire weekend helping someone move.

As time became more precious, I realized I had to start prioritizing if I wanted to reach my goals and deliver on deadlines, as well as maintain a healthy balance to my lifestyle. I had to learn how to say no.

When friends or family asked for help with repainting the kitchen or putting together a piece of treacherous IKEA furniture, I had to swallow my natural reaction and just say no. I just didn't have the time. And even if I had a free day, that free time was often better spent recovering than working.

Of course, as soon as a deadline is met, or a story is out of the system, I can roll up my sleeves and get to helping, since saying no all the time otherwise will slowly chip away at my sanity. But if I want to last in the long run, I have to value the recovery as much as the work. And that means saying no even to myself time to time.