Respect

It took me way too long to realize that the people around me might not understand my need to write. It took me even longer to realize they don't need to understand it, but they need to respect it.

Before I had this flashing revelation, I would find myself depending on my loved ones to be as excited as I was over my writing. Sure, they were happy I did something I loved, but they didn't understand the need that sometimes pushed me to work ninety hours a week to get my full-time job and my own writing goals done. And yes, I counted my writing as a profession even before I got an agent because even if I love to write, it is still work. Sure, I wasn't earning more than the satisfaction of putting the full stop at the end of the manuscript and sending it out with my lip caught between my teeth as I waited for agent responses. However, seeing my writing as a profession helped structure what time I had left between my day job, proving to my family I hadn't turned into a zombie and training.

Although it's essential there's a balance here to make sure you get the break you need and your loved ones don't feel forgotten, there's also the importance of your goals. Especially in the beginning, it was hard for my family and friends to understand why I would rather spend the weekend working on my books than with them. My friends would complain they never saw me, my sisters would warn me not to work too much, my mum would shake her head and call it a hobby.

The problem wasn't that the people around me didn't understand my need to write, the problem was that they didn't respect it.

When I finally realized it's okay for them not fully to understand what writing meant to me, it was easier to ask for that respect. With a bit of communication and clarification, they were able to support me in a completely different way.

So, if you have a friend, parent, partner, or (older) kids who doesn't understand your need for writing, that's fine, as long as they bloody well respect it.